


basically a story about a prince an a mutant an their shenanigans

by CARCINOaquarium



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-03-07
Updated: 2012-03-07
Packaged: 2017-11-01 14:51:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/358068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CARCINOaquarium/pseuds/CARCINOaquarium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>this is a thing i started wwritin wwhen i wwas sick an didnt havve nothin better to do</p><p>more chapters later</p>
            </blockquote>





	basically a story about a prince an a mutant an their shenanigans

Once upon a time there wwas a prince. He wwas an extravvagantly handsome prince, all tall an slender an stylish, wwith glasses perched atop his regal nose an a splash of purple in his luscious black hair to match the royal cape that flowwed out behind him. His majestic horns jutted back like lightnin streaks, strikinly slick. You get the idea. He wwas all princely an shit, an he livved in a palace by the ocean because he fuckin lovved the sea, as befitted his noble seadwwellin rank. Wwhen he wwasn’t swwimin he’d be standin on his royal balcony starin out at the wwater, wwatchin the sun rise an set ovver the distant horizon. He wwas pretty deep like that, kind of a fuckin enigma an did I mention he wwas sevverely handsome? Yeah. But alas, he wwas lonely, ‘cause princes in shitty romantic stories are alwways fuckin lonely.

Many swweeps ago he wwas betrothed to a beautiful princess wwho he’d growwn up to believve wwas meant to be his belovved for all time or wwhatevver, but the flighty broad basically thought she wwas better off wwith some mustardblooded peasantry scum or WWHATEVVER ok wwe’re sorta getting off track here the point is she bailed on him an after a wwhile a mopin the prince decided he’d probably only been in lovve wwith the IDEA of bein in lovve wwith her. I mean if she left him to go frolic wwith some pathetic loser nerd of a— yeah. Anywway. He didn’t havve nobody an he wwas fuckin lonely an sad but still vvery handsome let’s not forget that.

One evvenin he wwas wwalkin along the beach bein sad an handsome wwhen he saww a figure headin his wway from the other direction. His fuckin royal hivve bein so remote he wwas kind a surprised. I mean wwho evven wwalks this far out, must be some kind a wwaywward vvagabond or somesuch endin up all the wway out here. But as the figure got closer, he saww it wwas just some kid. At least he thought it wwas a kid at first. The guy wwas so damn short and kinda scrawwny, dressed in ovversized dark clothes. But he wwas wwalkin wwith such fuckin purpose, takin big strides across the sand wwith his head dowwn an his fists balled. The prince couldn’t help bein intrigued. Normally it wwasnt a thing he’d do to talk to peons wwhich wwas basically evveryone since pretty much all a them (except that flighty broad princess an wwho needs her) wwere beneath him on the hemospectrum an basically not evven wworthy to lick his incredibly stylish boots. Yet there was somethin about this stranger so boldly marchin across the prince’s privvate beach like he owwned the fuckin thing that didn’t anger him as much as it maybe ought a should’ve.

“Wwho the fuck are you on my beach,” he asked curtly as the scruffy little vvagabond dreww closer. “State your fuckin purpose, I ain’t got time to be messin wwith this shit.” Only he said it more regal than that, like really princely an such.

The fuckin pintsized ragamuffin stopped but barely looked up an didn’t speak. In the faint red-orange gloww a the sunset the prince could vvaguely make out his features. He wwas scruffy-haired like he hadn’t bothered to groom in sevveral perigrees an did he evven havve horns. Squintin his eyes the prince made out twwo tiny round nubs upon the vvagabond’s head an he stiffled a princely chuckle. Continuin his inspection he noted the trespasser’s face, rivveted into a scowwl that seemed oddly unforced as if it wwas just the base expression for this ornery-lookin troll. Wwith his big eyes an pouty-lookin mouth the prince briefly entertained the thought that if he stopped scowwlin for just one fuckin second he might actually be kind of attractivve but he banished the thought quickly because wwtf kind of a thought evven wwas that.

“I said wwho are you,” the prince restated, more firmly, although for some reason declinin to yell at the brat.

The little squirt finally lifted his head an his eyes seemed to eerily reflect the color of the sunset, flecked wwith fire. He locked his gaze wwith the prince’s in a manner so blatantly defiant an disrespectful that the prince’s owwn eyes wwidened momentarily caught off guard.

“MY NAME IS NONE OF YOUR NOOKWHIFFING BUISINESS AND I’M ONLY HERE BECAUSE YOUR KINGDOM’S STUPID POLICIES ARE PUTTING MY FRIENDS AT RISK, FUCKWIT.”

The small troll’s vvoice made up for his stature in vvolume, fingers curlin into tight fists like that’d somehoww do any good in containin his obvvious rage.

The prince thought he ought to be mad at the sheer fuckin nervve a him for speakin to a highblood that wway but instead he merely raised a perfect broww, more curious than anythin else really.

“Wwhat does that evven mean,” he inquired. “Because you’re kind a puttin yourself more at risk evven bein here. I could havve you culled for tresspassin you knoww.”

His quarry looked unmovved. “YEAH. I PRETTY MUCH WALKED HERE TO PURPOSEFULLY GIVE MYSELF UP. THAT’S THE POINT, DOUCHEBAG. IT’S BETTER FOR EVERYONE IF I JUST HAND MYSELF IN BEFORE I GET FOUND OUT. SO CAN WE JUST GET IT OVER WITH.”

The prince wwas more confused than evver by this point because wwho the hell wwalks all this wway to turn themselvves in direct to a member of the nobility an besides wwhat wwas up wwith that stinkin attitude.

“So you’re a criminal,” he deduced at length, because deducin things wwas another one of his many vvaried strengths an talents. He folded his hands, myriad gold rings clinkin as his slender fingers ovverlapped, and he gavve the shore trespasser his best disdainful an unimpressed look.

The smaller troll had the fuckin audacity to look offended as if bein accused a somethin unthinkable despite practically confessin his owwn criminality just moments prior, go figure.

“YOU’LL TRY ME AS ONE,” he snarled evventually. “SO LISTEN, PRINCE GLUB, JUST HAVE ME ARRESTED ALREADY. THAT’S WHAT I CAME HERE FOR. AS LONG AS I’M LOCKED UP, NO ONE CAN GET HURT BY LIAISING WITH ME. BELIEVE ME IT’S FOR THE BEST; I’M A CURSE TO EVERYONE.”

For the first time since the bizarre an legitimately confusin exchange had begun, the prince began to detect a vvibe of anger an loathin directed less at himself an more towwards inwwardly, as if the criminal before him despised himself more than he seemed to despise the prince (wwho wwas hardly despicable at all, bein handsome an intelligent an bravve but tended to be despised anywway probably on account of all his countless navval vvictories and maritime accomplishments but that’s for ANOTHER STORY).

“Wwell, out wwith it, then,” the prince demanded. “Wwhat did you do. I can hardly havve you arrested wwithout a charge, but you’re tryin my patience noww so spit it out or you’ll be taken in for wwastin my time.”

The scrawny troll scuffed his foot in the sand an hunched his shoulders, scowwl lines deepenin. For a couple a moments it seemed like he wwasn’t evven gonna say anythin but finally he muttered, “I WWAS HATCHED WWRONG. I’M A…” he paused, an the prince could almost see the various self-loathin phrases rollin ovver in his oddly luminescent eyes like wwheels on a gamblin devvice before he settled on “… MUTANT BLOOD,” spitting the wwords out like a bitter taste.

The prince cocked his head to the side, examinin the ruffian again.

“You look like you gotta be pretty loww on the scale; maybe a dirt-blood or a…” his lip curled up hatefully, “…filthy fuckin mustardblood? If you’vve been fraternisin wwith highbloods that’s a fuckin cullable offence.”

The brat shook his head, then suddenly kicked out an sent a perfectly innocent bystandin mussel shell flyin.

“NO, YOU FUCKING DENSE SHITSTAIN, YOU’RE NOT GETTING IT. I’M NOT EVVEN ON THE HEMOSPECTRUM. NOBODY ELSE HAS MY BLOOD. MY BLOOD ISN’T EVVEN A THING. AND… SOMEONE’S GOING TO FIND OUT SOON. I CAN’T HIDE IT FOREVER, ESPECIALLY NOW THAT MY EYES HAVE TURNED.” By the end a his rant, his tone had shifted from outraged to forced an slightly shaky. As if catchin himself for lettin dowwn his guard, he looked up again angrily, fresh fires in his eyes. “SO YOU SEE WHY I’M HERE, YOUR ROYAL FUCKING DOUCHENESS. I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK OF ME. I’M FRESH OUT OF FUCKS. I USED ALL OF THEM UP JUST FINDING THIS STUPID FUCKING PLACE. WHO THE HELL EVEN LIVES OUT HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE WHEN THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE RULING A FUCKING KINGDOM, ANYWAY.”

By noww the handsome an noble prince ought to of dealt out a royal fuckin asswwhippin for howw insultin his uninvvited guest wwas bein. I mean howw dare he, really. This wwas royalty he wwas insultin an by the sounds of it this kid broke evvery laww evver set in place just by vvirtue of existin. Mutant-bloods wwere scum, wworse evven than the filthiest landdwwellin street runts wwith sewwage crawwlin through their veins. A mutant blood OUGHT to of been culled at HATCHIN to prevvent messin up the delicate hierarchy of the hemospectrum’s proper order. But here one wwas, standin in front a him all lippy and arrogant an wwild-haired and wwilder eyed an SO FUCKIN DEFIANT. No one had evver defied the prince like this before an for obvviously good fuckin reason, they’d a been dead in a cardiovascular organ-beat a sayin it.

Silence passed betwween them as the prince pondered wwhat to do wwith this unheralded situation. Finally, he stepped forwward, closin the space between them, and peered closely at the smaller troll, lowwerin his face to stare at the urchin’s large an uncommonly bright eyes. The object of his inspection flinched slightly but held his ground, not steppin back nor lookin awway. Noww that the light of the sunset wwas almost gone on account a finally slippin behind the ocean the prince could see that the strange color of this troll’s irises wwasnt just the reflection of the flame-tinged sky. There wwas a redness flecked there that wwas all of its owwn, an evven in the evvenin halflight the color wwas clear as fuckin anythin. He had red fuckin eyes, an not just red, but some kind a almost luminescent neon shade that wwas just unnaturally an uncommonly bright. Wwithout evven realisin doin it, the prince stepped back sharply. He wwasn’t scared or nothin cause he wwasnt fuckin scared a anythin he wwas just surprised, okay. He ain’t seen anythin like it before in his time. But he quickly recovvered, regainin his regal composure.

“You’re a fuckin freak,” he breathed out thickly, but he wwas still too bewwildered an maybe evven kind a stunned to havve any malice in it.

The red-eyed scruff-haired brat snorted out a ‘HEH’ sound, diggin his foot in the sand again. “DO YOU REALLY THINK I DON’T KNOW THAT,” he growwled. “I HAVE TO SEE THIS IN THE MIRROR EVERY FUCKING DAY. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MIRRORS I’VE BROKEN. MY HIVE IS BASICALLY BROKEN MIRRORS AND THE STENCH OF MY GENETIC PUTRESCENCE. THE ONLY THING WORSE THAN WHAT I AM NOW IS ALL THE POTENTIAL FUTURE TIME POINTS OF ME WHERE I’VE HAD TO BE MYSELF FOR EVEN FUCKING LONGER. SO YOU’LL BE DOING ME A FAVOR BY JUST CULLING ME NOW, UNLESS YOU’RE AFRAID OF GETTING YOUR STUPID FUCKING FISH PRINCE ATTIRE DIRTY WITH MY RANCID MUTANT DNA IN WHICH CASE JUST GIVE ME YOUR WEAPON AND I’LL DO IT MYSELF.”

The prince just kind a fuckin stared at this crazy lunatic wwho wwas clearly stark ravvin bonkers but also… kind of… the saddest thing he’d evver seen or heard. This kid wwas practically radiatin caliginous oozins in a fuckin pitch courtship wwith himself. Did he really come all this fuckin wway just to die, that wwas the single most pathetic and deplorable thing the prince had evver had the fuckin misfortune to bear wwitness to an somewwhere deep inside him he felt a small pang of pity.

“I ain’t gonna cull you,” he murmured, careful to keep his tone neutral an wwith the appropriate levvel of distance befittin their interaction.

“YOU’RE NOT,” the mutantblood sounded and looked genuinely surprised, an for a moment his wwide eyes an slightly agape mouth gavve the prince an insight into howw the troll wwould look if he wwasn’t constantly scowwlin like an irritable wwoofbeast. Wwith his features softened, he actually looked fuckin decent an approachable, perhaps evven…

He coughed, lookin awway again so those stupid red eyes couldn’t captivvate him any more.

“I’m not,” he confirmed, turning his face to the inkstained night sky, “An it’s your lucky day ‘cause I ain’t havvin you arrested neither, brat.”

“WELL, WHY THE FUCK NOT,” the mutant demanded, soundin almost indignant of it.

“Because,” the prince said quietly, “I thinkk you’re kind a fuckin interestin an I ain’t nevver seen someone wwith such a bloody potent color in them before.”

“SO YOU WANT TO STUDY ME.” There wwas that note again, the brat takin the prince’s wwords to be as an insult and probably there wwas a bit of that in that the prince had the habit of bein kinda disdainful about shit but fuck remember he’s a prince okay.

“Wwell not so much study but yeah I’d kind a like to knoww more about you an such,” he said evventually, bein more candid an open than he originally intended. It seemed to him that this kid kneww a fuckin thing or twwo about bein lonely also, an maybe they could swwap stories an such an— wwhat wwas he evven thinkin. That wwas crazy. They wwere fuckin wworlds apart. But it couldn’t hurt to talk for a little wwhile, surely that wwouldn’t be an altogether bad thing.

The prince abruptly started wwalking, noddin silently for the other troll to follow him. Some wways dowwn the beach wwhen he didn’t hear footfall followin him he just assumed the dumb brat hadn’t heeded his royal invvitation - wwhat fuckin nervve again - but wwhen he glanced back he saww him some wways back shufflin after him just at a distance. He sat dowwn on a smooth flat rock to wwait for the shorter troll to catch up, wwhich might take him a wwhile on account a bein so short an havvin a much shorter stride an only evven shufflin noww at that. But the prince owwned this fuckin beach remember, so he had all the time there wwas.


End file.
